August 27, 2008
Well it's been a week since my anniversary of coming back alive from NAM, but the nightmares have started again. I know they will go away, but at the same time I never know when they will return. Don't let anyone tell you to get over it, or PTSD is not real, because we who suffer from it know the truth.
I made a mistake today and I knew it would happen but I did it anyway. I've not been myself at work, not the happy go lucky guy everyone expects, and a friend asked what's wrong. So I tried to explain a little about the nightmares etc. I don't know what I expected, but I didn't expect the results. I was told I need to talk to someone, I can't help you, I don't understand and then the unsual sorry. I know all that stuff. That's what I was trying to do...talk. I guess we all make dumb mistake every now and then, but it never seems to amaze me that friends act as though they care, and maybe do, but they really don't want to hear your problems... mine are worse than yours syndrome, and I really don't want to listen, I only asked to be polite. I don't know about anyone else but I am so tired of that same old story. I've got to learn to keep my mouth shut... because it hurts!
May 03, 2005
Last week was the 30th anniversary of the end of the Vietnam War, and a little longer since I was there. I was watching the news when they annouced this and showed pictures of parades and celebrations taking place in a country where I served. It looked so different, clean and modern with no signs of a war long passed. But seeing the pictures, the faces, the clothes, all brought back memories which I have tried to bury but never could, and tears filled my eyes. Not only for myself, but for all my brothers and sisters that never came home and their families. But mostly for those of us that can never forget and live those days in our memories forever.
Peace my fellow soldiers!